Raimundos - the Trench Digger

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Vooka... Vooka...
Kavookavala!!!

One time on the farm, a sinister thing paid a visit
Mutilating my herd in a bizarre way
I searched everywhere to find some answers
But no one told me anything I could believe
These folks are crazy; they’d already dreamed up a new plague
The cause of my wrath was a thing called Kavookavala
Everyone who saw it—Moor or Christian alike—
Said they couldn't stand it and moved out of the region
Even Timbó Mané, a guy who never backs down,
Fainted from fear when he came face-to-face with the monstrosity
It couldn't be true—could it really be that ugly?
They said that wherever it roamed, the grass wouldn't even grow
I’m not a man for madness, brawling, or revenge
But I roared in my fury: "I’m going to catch that beast!"
No idle chatter; I made a solemn vow
That if I didn't catch it, I’d even change my name
(What?)
Without fear or fuss, I went hunting the beast in the woods
(Huh?)
Not forgetting my pistol, provisions, and a good coat
(What?)
I spent nights in vain, facing cold and darkness
(Eh?)
But then, that one night, I saw the aberration too
(Ahh... no way!)

Could it be the Devil's own son—that hideous beast?
It must be from another planet; it certainly wasn't from Earth
To put an end to the havoc, I’d have to empty my pistol
I took careful aim, preparing to fire
To land the perfect shot, with absolute precision
I fire right between the beats of my own heart
But would you believe it? I sneezed—a weak little thing
Damn, what a cursed sneeze; I missed my shot
At the sound of the blast, the monstrosity roared
And came charging at me like a madman
My time had come; I was a goner
You should've seen my face when I let out that scream
I let out a hellish shriek, far worse than a dog's howl
Startled by my scream, it dropped dead of a heart attack
I chopped off its head and gave the body to NASA
Don't believe what I'm telling you?
Come see the skull; it's back at my place
(What?)
I skinned the hide—it was a hell of a job
(Huh?)
I let it dry in the sun, and now I use it as a rug
(What?)
And in the town square, a thousand statues stand
(Huh?)
And the inscription says I killed Kavookavala
(Ahh... no way!)